Focus on Better Behavior

As a parent, you want to protect your child, whether it’s from a school bully or failing a test. It’s hard to see your child suffer and you want to help them get through the hard times in life. For some parents it means not letting children experience any kind of disappointment or failure. Or, the other extreme parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed and avoid making any mistakes. Do either of these extremes help your children grow into responsible, healthy and happy adults? There are several parenting styles to choose from and can be very helpful raising children which is not an easy job. Choose a parenting method that teaches you that being a good parent to your children is allowing them to not only make mistakes but learn valuable lessons from them.

Children just want to do well and feel loved and approved of by their parents. Most of the time when they make a mistake, they feel badly and it is your job to turn that mistake into a positive learning opportunity. Learning to accept the result of a choice and how to make a better one the next time is basic training for living that all children need. Kids don’t plan to let themselves or their parents down, but in reality, they will not always live up to your expectations. Putting too much pressure on them to do well or being overprotective will most likely make things worse. They need to understand that with all choices in life there are consequences. There will be times of success and failure, unhappiness, boredom and disappointment. That is what real life is all about and giving them space to experience these life lessons can help them prepare for adulthood.

If parents do too much hand-holding, or try to protect their children from anything that may hurt them or disappoint them, how will they learn how to get by on their own? Parents who have a tendency to overprotect their children from real life can end up with children with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in their own abilities. You may be surprised how well your children can and will do without being coddled or not being so hard on them when they bring home a C in algebra class. Learning a parenting skill which focuses on solutions to problems is the real benefit of making mistakes. Part of the job as a parent is to raise children who can problem solve, think through an action before taking it and be responsible and accountable for the results.. Understanding that mistakes and what children learn from them shape who they are and help them better understand and cope with the way the world works.