Co-parenting is a Balancing Act
September 19th, 2011 by tina
 |
 |
 |
PR: 
L: 
I: 
Rank: 
Age: 
I: 
Rank: 
Links: 
When you are co-parenting through a divorce situation, scheduling can become a nightmare. It’s important for the two families to know and understand what the custody arrangement is and how it is implemented. This is always frustrating at the beginning or the end of a school year. My kids’ dad wants to see them for longer blocks of time in the summer when he takes vacation time. I like to have a routine so I can plan my time when the kids are not with me.
It is especially frustrating when school begins. Now we have the house shuffling along with soccer and other after school activities. The kids spend 4 days every other week with their dad. Some days he picks them up from school and brings them to his house. Other days they are dropped off at school and I pick them up. In the fall we have to add the complication of sports and after school activities. Sometimes I don’t know how I will handle all the kids’ schedules as well as my own.
I have only begun to realize that in some ways, co-parenting is actually helpful to me. My kids have 4 parents who are part of their lives. Although I must admit, sometimes I wish my ex would just go away, there are many times that I am grateful that there is another family willing to share the load. I don’t know how I would get my 4 kids to 4 different locations without their father pitching in.
And I must admit, my kids’ dad really doesn’t want to be a weekend dad. He has set up his home for our kids so that when they go between our houses, all they need is their backpack and activities bag. He has a bedroom, clothes, toys and everything already available for them. It certainly makes it easier to know that if he’s picking up the kids from soccer, they can stop by his house to change or to get a quick shower afterwards without having to worry about another bag.
It’s also pretty nice for the kids that they always have at least one parent at their events. When two kids have the soccer at the same time, how do you choose which game to go to? My ex will take one game with his new wife and family. My husband and I go to the other. I don’t like missing out, but the kids are happy that someone watched their whole game. We do co-exist at some functions. It is still hard at times but we are making the effort. And I know my kids will benefit from our ability to put them first.