Focus on Better Behavior

Acknowledgment is underused and underrated in many families. Often parents and children are so busy with work and friends that good deeds and good behavior go unnoticed because most attention is focused around their child’s misbehavior.

There is a lot of attention given to what is wrong with children. They don’t mind, they aren’t doing well in school, they bother mom when she is on the phone, they interrupt when adults are talking, etc. There seems to be a lot of attention on the children and very little on the parenting styles of their parents that may be at the root of the very problems they are complaining about.

How many times do parents stop and notice with a verbal comment when they catch siblings playing nicely together, children putting away their toys or helping set the table. It is important to look for opportunities to acknowledge not only your children but also your partner, co-worker and friends when you see them doing positive or helpful things.

Expectations also play a major role in your child’s behavior. There have been experiments in school where a teacher was given a group of students who were doing poorly in school. The teacher was told that these children were high achievers not under performers. At the end of the term these particular children had out performed their previous scores and the only thing that was different was that their teacher expected more from them.

If you expect good behavior you will act differently toward your child than if you are always waiting for them to misbehave. Children live up to your expectations. Imagine if parents expected the ‘terrific twos’ instead of the ‘terrible twos’. Or imagine the difference if the expectation of the teenage years was of adolescents becoming responsible adults rather than the expectation of rebellious behavior?

Encouragement and acknowledgment are positive parenting techniques that can minimize the negative behavior of children and are worth taking the time to learn and put into practice. You can do this easily in an online parenting class.